I passed out at work yesterday, and my mom believes it was heat exhaustion from last week. So as a result she didn't want me to go to work and made me stay indoors. Which is KILLING me!! I'm suffering from cabin fever. Would play the piano but one of my fingers is twisted...would play more guitar but I haven't practiced in AGES so my fingers are soft so they can only handle so much. Cleaned a bit...organized some pictures, watched some movies, just really wasted time. Its nice to have a day off...but I really really really can't wait to go back to work tomorrow!!
Yes this blog was completely pointless...I need to go find something else to do...
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Back in the World
Well, I survived a week at camp! It was different than every other year of course because I came back as staff instead of a camper. When a change like that happens, things will always be different and slightly difficult. I think even if I waited a year between graduating and coming back as staff would have been hard.
My week was very interesting, very hard, but in so many ways rewarding. I really needed this week at camp. The year between this June and last has been filled with many ups and downs, and I really needed to distance myself from the world and reset my focus on God. Even though I wasn't a camper, I didn't receive near the amount of scripture or free time to study with God, just being in a place that for me symbolizes peace and serenity and closeness with our Father was enough to get me going back where I was supposed to be.
Bogg Springs Camp is as much home as my hometown is. Not in a physical sense, but just the feeling of relief I have when I get within a few miles of the camp. I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. Campers, Game Staff, Bible Teachers, Counselors...I've heard people in each category say that going to camp is like going to a home. A place where we are surrounded by fellow believers with a common purpose, to spend time with God.
I realized just what a position I was in to reach kids this week at camp. I'm friends with one of the girls on a JV team because I'm friends with her older brother. Every time I saw her around camp I'd call out and wave (and if she saw me first, my name was the one being called) and by doing that, other JV girls started noticing me. Saturday, I was loading things in my car and one of the girls who constantly said hi from a distance came up, gave me a hug and asked me if I was coming back next year; and she wasn't the only one. I made friends with one of the leaders youngest daughter there and she'd always come up and say hi and give me a hug. I accepted a challenge to hula hoop the longest against 2 JV girls (which I lost, I was wet and didn't bother to change my shirt, so the wet sleeves of my Tshirt caught the hoop) and later one came up to me and just started talking about different hula hooping stuff she had done. My brother kept encouraging me to talk to one of the boys in his cabin, and soon he was also on my list of kids to wave too whenever we passed. I know I won't remember half the kids' names next year...but from experience as a camper myself, I know they will remember me. And even if I remember their face and just one thing about them, they'll be on cloud nine. Even though I didn't do anything really big for them...it brought smiles to their faces. Maybe it helped them not be so homesick, who knows. We never really know what is going on in a kids head, but that maybe I helped brighten a kids week...that's enough to make me want to return every year!
While HS kids aren't as easy to help out...one experience was enough to make cold showers, long hours in the sun, sunburns, almost no time to myself, bug bites and minor annoyances worth it. One night, all the counselors and staff were standing around the campers seats during the invitation. Two girls got up and made their way outside instead of down to the alter. I checked their counselor, she didn't seem like she was going to follow them, and no one else (surprisingly) seemed to notice. My first instinct was to follow them so someone was keeping an eye on them, (thank working at a Day Care for a year, I like having kids in my sight range) and we really did need to have someone who knew where they were. I knew one of them fairly well, so I was sure she wouldn't mind if I sat just where I could see them. But stepping outside, they were right by the door. I simply put a hand on the crying girls shoulder, just so she would know I was there and went to walk a bit away when she suddenly threw herself upon me, sobbing. I wasn't sure I should say anything, and I know that sometimes we don't need to talk...just knowing someone is there for us is enough. She calmed down as our friend and I hugged her, praying silently.
I was about to suggest going back inside because I still wasn't sure it was a good idea for us to be out there since we were supposed to be inside for chapel when suddenly...this girl I had never met before just opened up to me and told me what she was fighting with in her heart. All three of us were in tears by the end of her story. We were forced to move back inside because Chapel was dismissed and people were filtering outside. My heart was breaking for this poor girl who shouldn't have ever had to deal with what she was struggling with, and I was also filled with emotion over the fact that for some reason, this girl I didn't know had opened up her deepest secret and hurt to me; that God gave her some trust in me.
Later, I was reminded of the position I was in. The girls told me they probably wouldn't have gone to a counselor about their problems, at least not that one. What I was told by my games staff director the first night of camp flew back into my head. That because we are closer in age to the campers, they trust us more to a point. We are young enough to still understand what they are dealing with on their level, or at least remember better than the older staff what it was like.
My purse had ended up outside somehow, so when I went to retrieve it, a boy that I had known for several years followed me and asked me to pray for something he had been dealing with for awhile. I was slightly surprised at the maturity and emotion he had in his face as he shared with me something I knew he hadn't told anyone about, at least not someone who qualified as an "adult". I had known this boy for several years, and most people saw him as simply a trouble maker, but for that small amount of time, I saw him for what he truly was, an insecure little boy who was lost in a world full of adult problems and didn't know what to do.
I only had 2 campers really open up to me with huge problems at home that they didn't know how to deal with. That's 2 more stories than I thought I would hear. I thank God for those two kids, because while they saw me as ministering to them, praying for them, being there for them...I saw them as God Sightings. God was showing me that He could use me in places I didn't expect to be used-and I didn't even have to try. He can use us as tools in places we aren't sure we belong, in ways we didn't realize were so important. They were an encouragement to me throughout the week. My view of one camper was changed and I made a new friend in another. At times, I wonder if God gives us people who are having problems for the same reason He gave them us, a reminder that He is still there.
Leaving camp was hard, as it always is. A lot of my problems I feel like I haven't made any progress in working out. I'm still confused, still unsure of what exactly I am supposed to be doing, or how on earth I am going to survive some things that are coming up into my life. But I've walked away with my eyes a bit more open, a better understand of how God moves sometimes, memories with friends (even if I didn't get to hang with them as much as I would have liked), memories with kids that will never understand the effect they had on me.
I close tonight with an encouragement...never doubt that God can use you. Never tell yourself He will or won't do something through you, and even when the world tells you to do one thing, even if they think its in the best interest, God can have a completely different plan. Sometimes it just requires you following your heart and what HE is telling you instead of what everyone else says.
Goodnight everyone, sweet dreams world!
My week was very interesting, very hard, but in so many ways rewarding. I really needed this week at camp. The year between this June and last has been filled with many ups and downs, and I really needed to distance myself from the world and reset my focus on God. Even though I wasn't a camper, I didn't receive near the amount of scripture or free time to study with God, just being in a place that for me symbolizes peace and serenity and closeness with our Father was enough to get me going back where I was supposed to be.
Bogg Springs Camp is as much home as my hometown is. Not in a physical sense, but just the feeling of relief I have when I get within a few miles of the camp. I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. Campers, Game Staff, Bible Teachers, Counselors...I've heard people in each category say that going to camp is like going to a home. A place where we are surrounded by fellow believers with a common purpose, to spend time with God.
I realized just what a position I was in to reach kids this week at camp. I'm friends with one of the girls on a JV team because I'm friends with her older brother. Every time I saw her around camp I'd call out and wave (and if she saw me first, my name was the one being called) and by doing that, other JV girls started noticing me. Saturday, I was loading things in my car and one of the girls who constantly said hi from a distance came up, gave me a hug and asked me if I was coming back next year; and she wasn't the only one. I made friends with one of the leaders youngest daughter there and she'd always come up and say hi and give me a hug. I accepted a challenge to hula hoop the longest against 2 JV girls (which I lost, I was wet and didn't bother to change my shirt, so the wet sleeves of my Tshirt caught the hoop) and later one came up to me and just started talking about different hula hooping stuff she had done. My brother kept encouraging me to talk to one of the boys in his cabin, and soon he was also on my list of kids to wave too whenever we passed. I know I won't remember half the kids' names next year...but from experience as a camper myself, I know they will remember me. And even if I remember their face and just one thing about them, they'll be on cloud nine. Even though I didn't do anything really big for them...it brought smiles to their faces. Maybe it helped them not be so homesick, who knows. We never really know what is going on in a kids head, but that maybe I helped brighten a kids week...that's enough to make me want to return every year!
While HS kids aren't as easy to help out...one experience was enough to make cold showers, long hours in the sun, sunburns, almost no time to myself, bug bites and minor annoyances worth it. One night, all the counselors and staff were standing around the campers seats during the invitation. Two girls got up and made their way outside instead of down to the alter. I checked their counselor, she didn't seem like she was going to follow them, and no one else (surprisingly) seemed to notice. My first instinct was to follow them so someone was keeping an eye on them, (thank working at a Day Care for a year, I like having kids in my sight range) and we really did need to have someone who knew where they were. I knew one of them fairly well, so I was sure she wouldn't mind if I sat just where I could see them. But stepping outside, they were right by the door. I simply put a hand on the crying girls shoulder, just so she would know I was there and went to walk a bit away when she suddenly threw herself upon me, sobbing. I wasn't sure I should say anything, and I know that sometimes we don't need to talk...just knowing someone is there for us is enough. She calmed down as our friend and I hugged her, praying silently.
I was about to suggest going back inside because I still wasn't sure it was a good idea for us to be out there since we were supposed to be inside for chapel when suddenly...this girl I had never met before just opened up to me and told me what she was fighting with in her heart. All three of us were in tears by the end of her story. We were forced to move back inside because Chapel was dismissed and people were filtering outside. My heart was breaking for this poor girl who shouldn't have ever had to deal with what she was struggling with, and I was also filled with emotion over the fact that for some reason, this girl I didn't know had opened up her deepest secret and hurt to me; that God gave her some trust in me.
Later, I was reminded of the position I was in. The girls told me they probably wouldn't have gone to a counselor about their problems, at least not that one. What I was told by my games staff director the first night of camp flew back into my head. That because we are closer in age to the campers, they trust us more to a point. We are young enough to still understand what they are dealing with on their level, or at least remember better than the older staff what it was like.
My purse had ended up outside somehow, so when I went to retrieve it, a boy that I had known for several years followed me and asked me to pray for something he had been dealing with for awhile. I was slightly surprised at the maturity and emotion he had in his face as he shared with me something I knew he hadn't told anyone about, at least not someone who qualified as an "adult". I had known this boy for several years, and most people saw him as simply a trouble maker, but for that small amount of time, I saw him for what he truly was, an insecure little boy who was lost in a world full of adult problems and didn't know what to do.
I only had 2 campers really open up to me with huge problems at home that they didn't know how to deal with. That's 2 more stories than I thought I would hear. I thank God for those two kids, because while they saw me as ministering to them, praying for them, being there for them...I saw them as God Sightings. God was showing me that He could use me in places I didn't expect to be used-and I didn't even have to try. He can use us as tools in places we aren't sure we belong, in ways we didn't realize were so important. They were an encouragement to me throughout the week. My view of one camper was changed and I made a new friend in another. At times, I wonder if God gives us people who are having problems for the same reason He gave them us, a reminder that He is still there.
Leaving camp was hard, as it always is. A lot of my problems I feel like I haven't made any progress in working out. I'm still confused, still unsure of what exactly I am supposed to be doing, or how on earth I am going to survive some things that are coming up into my life. But I've walked away with my eyes a bit more open, a better understand of how God moves sometimes, memories with friends (even if I didn't get to hang with them as much as I would have liked), memories with kids that will never understand the effect they had on me.
I close tonight with an encouragement...never doubt that God can use you. Never tell yourself He will or won't do something through you, and even when the world tells you to do one thing, even if they think its in the best interest, God can have a completely different plan. Sometimes it just requires you following your heart and what HE is telling you instead of what everyone else says.
Goodnight everyone, sweet dreams world!
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