Day 5: HOFKD

HOFKD

Heidi's Ours For Keeps Day.

19 years ago today the adoption papers were signed for me and I offically and legally became apart of my family! By being in the family I am, I have had so many amazing opportunities, been led to so many differnet places and introduced to so many people that I can't imagine living my life without.

So today, on November 5, I am thankful for the family that God placed me in.

Surprises and God's Provision

Well I'm back in the great state of Texas for a week!

I was able to get all of my finals done early so Saturday morning I took off and drove back a few days before I was expected. I worked it out with my grandparents that they would invite my parents over for dinner and I'd be there waiting for them. It was a great surprise! No one was expecting me (with the exceptions of my best friends back home and my grandparents) so the surprise was a complete success.

I was worried about going home because my dog, Strider, doesn't really like strangers or anyone he doesn't know coming around our house. I had been gone 10 weeks so I was worried his first reaction was going to be bark at me. I shouldn't have worried. As soon as the back garage door started to open he was crawling under it wimpering and ran straight to me, jumping up, licking my face and arms barely left me and when I kneeled on the ground he tried to climp up in my lap like a puppy and just sat there perfectly content! I was the one who 'rescued' him 2 summers back and my sisters have been telling me whenever he gets in trouble he's "Heidi's dog", but I guess he really is mine through and through! Now if only my cat will get used to having me around again!

I'm super excited about going to Peru on a mission trip over my Christmas break! God's really shown me that He will always provide for me. But at the same time its not really a surprise because I knew He would. I was writing checks and sending them off from my own accounts because I didn't have any money in. But I can't say I ever really worried about it. Yeah I had occassional moments of "what on earth am I doing?" But I knew God wanted me to go on this trip and whether He provided the money for me through other people or not I was going to go, so I had to trust Him. And today I added up all the money that I got in the last week and added it to the small amount I had before and my expenses have been covered! I still need a bit more to cover a 3rd plane ticket because I'll have to fly by myself to meet up with the main group, but all the money that I had to give the church is in!

Its fun to see how God provides for us when we just believe in Him!

Day 4 and I am thankful for God's provision!

30 Days of Thanksgiving! Day 1.

I was on facebook just now and saw a friend of mine post a status about how she's going to do a 30 Days of Thanks. Every day for the month of November find something to thank God for and write it down somewhere! Post it to Facebook or Twitter, write it in your journal, post it to the fridge, anything where you can get it out there and actually say it, not just think it!

I decided to do it as well, posting them to facebook and some on here as well as my journal (I like to write and have my thoughts heard). I encourage all of you to do the same, find little things to thank our God for every day! =)

Today I'm thanking God for His everlasting love, patience, mercy and watchfulness. How He's always been there for me, even when other people I thought would always be there abandoned me. That and for helping me overcome my flaws, its an ever-going struggle!

Happy November!

Halloween and Endings

Happy Halloween everyone! Today is probably the only day of the year that you can give kids candy and they won't try to run away from you. It's also a day where you can dress up however you want and people kinda don't care. Although I've seen some pretty weird people around campus today, but it's Halloween.

Today marks the last official day of school for us this trimester and tomorrow starts our finals 'week'. But I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't have at least one final before it officially starts. All the music people have to stay over the weekend because we have piano juries on Monday. Basically we have 8 minutes to play for all the people on the music board and then we're free until the following Monday. No one is really a fan of it because we have all weekend with nothing to do but practice and most everyone else is going home for our Trimester Break.

So my first trimester is all but over. I've have changes both physically and mentally. Physically I've lost 10 pounds in the last 2 1/2 months. I love walking everywhere and I still have to walk up to the 3rd floor of my dorm every time I want to go to my room so I get more physical exercise than I did at home just because of if I want to do anything, I don't get in my car and drive. I'm not complaining to much though, just when I'm tired and I don't want to walk up the stairs!

Mentally and emotionally, that's been a battle. Things happened here with friendships and situations that I didn't expect, I didn't know how to handle and honestly have been really hard for me. I'm 6+ hours from home, I'm out of my comfort zone just a little bit and half of my support system was wrenched away from me. It hasn't been fun and there have been days that I got really down and felt completely alone and abandoned. That's when God started showing me just how much He's been there. How He hears me and comforts me even when I'm alone.

The song that always was coming to my head was Britt Nicole's "All This Time". "All this time from the first tear cried to today's sunrise and every single moment between, You were there You were always there. It was You and I, You've been walking with me all this time." He's been showing me day by day that He's here with me, He can help me, and He will if I just open my heart and cry out to Him.

I get to go home on Monday! I'll be getting a much needed break and seeing friends that even though I've always appreciated them and I've always loved them, I never really realized just how awesome they are until I left them. That's the thing about friends I guess. You never really know who your true friends are until you don't have them anymore and the friends you thought would never hurt you or leave you do so. Life's just a gamble that way.

As in the words of Rafiki, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it. Considering I can't really run from it right now, I'm just going to have to learn from it! Keep my head up, keep smiling, step outside my comfort zone more, branch out and show just how strong I am. With God, all things are possible. With Him, I can do anything, including letting go of people I love.

Off to study for tests! Have a Happy Halloween and stay away from caramel!

Expect Great Things; Attempt Great Things.

I can't believe its October already! I blinked and September is gone. Next monthI can start listening o Christmas music!

So I've been here for about 7 weeks now, and I'm still loving it as much as when I first started. Carey really has become home. It's weird to admit that, but its true. I'm really enjoying the weather getting cooler, I get to wear my jackets, scarves and gloves. That and I can sit outside and not burn up.

Last week was Carey Fest, a mini fall fest for the students, workers and their families here on campus. They had food, face painting, pumpkin smashing and 3 different inflatable bounce things. Thats something I missed at Kilgore, student activities. I didn't feel apart of the school body in any way but attending classes. Here when stuff goes on, I know about it, I attend i, I have fun and hang out with different people. I didn't get that at Kilgore.

This morning the BSU hosted a Prayer Walk. We met at 6:30am, then proceeded to walk to every building in campus and pray for all the people that would go in and out of them. It was cold, our noses and ears froze, we were sleep deprived, but it was totally worth it. I love being able to fellowship and do things like this with other believers in an environment that encourages us. There are so many places in the world where they can't worship freely the way we can here. But sadly, we lose sight of that and take it for granted way to often. I tried to get a few people to come join us and they said they would, if they didn't have that 8am class they would come. I'd come to prayer breakfast on Fridays, but its my only day to sleep in. I just didn't feel like coming.

Its sad how often we say stuff like that. We have such a freedom here, and we really don't do anything with it. We don't go to church if the cars broken and its a 5 mile drive. There are people who hike 5 hours so they can go to church. I'd hate to think of what America would be like if we had to do that...I think most of our churches would become nonexistent.

We're praying for a revival for our nation and for one specifically here at Carey. I can see it in certain people here. Its wonderful when you can see God shining through people, and I see that here. I hope people can see it when they look at me. We have the potential for great things.

"Expect great things; attempt great things".

How fitting that William Carey himself said that. If we want great things from God, if we are expecting them, we have to be willing to step out and do great things for Him.

If we do that, if we step out of our comfort zone, make small sacrifices here and there, turn our lives completely over to Him, can you imagine the amazing things He could accomplish through us?

Mindlessly Listening

How many songs do we listen to and love on the radio but we have to admit its a bad song because of the topic or the message of the song. And sometimes you don't think about it until you know the song backwards and forwards. How often to you hear a song and just mindlessly sing along? I had a few songs that I absolutely loved, then I really listened to the lyrics and decided to never listen or sing it again because of the message in the song. I surprised myself by what I had been mindlessly singing for months!

Now lets leave songs alone and switch to mindlessly listening just in life.

We go to church every Sunday and sit in the pew for an hour or so and then hurry home to eat dinner before it overcooks. When you go back to church that night, can you remember what was preached on that morning? Most often you can't. We just mindlessly listen to the Word of God, not putting anything into it.

Do you mindlessly listen to your friends? Do you just sit there and nod your head as they ramble or do you actually listen to them? I think we're all more guilty of mindlessly listening then we would like to admit.

Here is a challenge for the week. Listen. Whether you're listening to your boss at work, your teacher at school, your Pastor in church, your friend at Starbucks or even your kids. Actually listen to what they are saying, actually pay attention to them. Once you get down listening to the people that you can actually see and be with physically, try this with God. Its harder with Him because we can't really hear His audible voice, but He still speaks to us.

Lets try to really listen, not just zoning out. You might be surprised at the things you learn about people.

One Month Update

So I've been here a month! In some ways it doesn't seem like I've been here that long and others I feel like I've been here forever. Right now I'm procrastinating some homework while waiting for the season premier of Castle. Next Monday we don't have classes because the school is hosting something so we all have cut classes. It would be nice to take full advantage of it but I'm going to be out until late Saturday evening because I'm going to be on a field trip with some other students for our major.

SO! Here's a general update.

Contrary to popular belief, having one of my best friends as my roommate has not caused the campus to explode and we're getting along just fine. Community bathrooms aren't to bad, its just like being at camp though everyone takes showers at different times so we don't have to wait for the other girls to get mud off. We go to bed at the same time and I normally wake up around the time she goes if she's up first and she just sleeps through me getting ready when I get up first.

My classes are going fairly well, I'm in the school Opera now instead of voice class for chorus in the last scene. I'm going to miss voice but being back in a theatre setting is something to look forward too.

As far as social life goes I guess its pretty good. I have some friends in different classes and my dorm. I'm not a hermit who sits up in my room all that time like I was slightly scared I'd do. I spend a lot of time with my roommate, but not all the time. I'm getting more and more out of my comfort zone which is great for me. New experiences, new friends, new things, just new everything and I'm loving it.

I still have some problems that I'm working through, I still have bad days and there are days when I really don't want to do anything. But overall its amazing here and I'm so glad that I'm here! I"m going to go now because I'm watching Castle finale before the premier on another computer with some friends and I have a feeling we'll get sucked into that.

Laters everyone, until next time.

I Feel Infinite

Today 20 of us from school went to the beach. It was one of those “hey lets go to the beach this weekend, just spread the word and whoever shows up shows up!” things. It was really fun though. Easy drive and it wasn’t too crowded and the water was great.

This was the first time I can say I’ve been an actual trip to the beach. Every other time we were in the area and my family decided to just stop by, so it doesn’t really count. It was really fun with all of us. After passing around the sunscreen (we all are slightly burned anyway) we headed into the water. We went really far out and I’m about 5’5 and never lost my footing. We played out for who knows how long, flipping people, having chicken fights, girls (and a few guys) squealing about different things touching their feet in the water, and just talking about different stuff. We felt crabs, fish, saw a jellyfish and one kid got stung as well as your normal seagulls and pelicans.

As the day went on we split into groups of 3-8 people at a time and did different stuff. Frisbee was almost always going on, a few kids would go out real far (but never to deep, the water only hit our knees for a really long way) some would stay on the sand talking or reading or building sandcastles and some would just be crazy. Some of the boys kicked around a soccer ball seeing how long they could keep it in the air. I really enjoyed playing Frisbee in the ocean, it was nice to be able to jump and dive for the thing and not worry about hutting ground and putting myself in a lot of pain. 2 of the guys took the soccer ball into the water and started playing with it. I got roped in as the ball fetcher and throwing it around for the boys to do tricks too. A third joined in and then I got involved a bit, they convinced me to try and head butt the ball. I am proud to say that I did it! It wasn’t good, it wasn’t pretty, my head hurt for a while after it happened, but I had fun and did it!

One thing that does annoy me is how often guys think girls can’t do stuff and only throw to each other etc. At one point it was 3 guys with a Frisbee and myself and I stood there for about 5 minutes before one of them stopped the trick throws and threw it to me. Before we left we decided to have a small football game to burn off whatever energy we had left and try to get dry before leaving. I wanted to play, but I figured it would be guys only and no one would ask, but as I was drying off I again got asked to play. It was fun! I managed to block one pass and I scored the last touchdown and we won (We played best 2 out of 3 touchdowns, everyone was to tired to keep going).

I love playing sports and table games such as ping-pong and pool. I never really had access to anything like this on a regular basis and I always wished I had. I like playing Frisbee and playing around with soccer etc, but since I really don’t know what I’m doing I don’t like just jumping in. Today was super fun because I could play the sports stuff with the guys and didn’t feel like I was expected to lie out tanning, just wade around or sit there and look pretty. Honestly I’ve always preferred actually doing stuff.

Today was incredible; it was like some freedom for the first time. I’ve never really had any experiences like this before, not only am I learning stuff in school, but I’m learning to step outside my comfort zone and do stuff.

A week or so ago I read the book “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”. At one point the main character, Charlie, is riding home with two of his friends and a song comes on the radio. They all listen, really listen, to the song and the main character turns to his friends and says something. Today it wasn’t quite the same, but the point is still there.

We left the beach to drive back home and as we pulled out of the parking lot for once we found a good song on the radio, Owl City’s “Good Time”. We rolled down the windows and turned it up, the five of us singing along with the voices. I stuck my hand out the window as we headed back towards school and I found myself thinking exactly what Charlie had said, “I feel infinite”.

I know its crazy and stupid, but in that moment I felt like we could go on forever. I knew the feeling of being above everything, that nothing could harm us. In that moment, after a fun day of goofing off without a care in the world, being with some people that I’ve really grown to care about, spending hours on the beach and in the ocean, the feeling was almost indescribable. I felt infinite.

We all grow old someday, youth will pass and won’t last forever, but its days like today that will stay with us forever, that really are infinite.  

The Joy of Being a Music Major

I think the best thing about being a music major is that I have access to the music building whenever I want. Whether its 9am, 2:45pm, 9:28pm or Midnight. My school ID is programed to get me into the building whenever I want. Some of us used it last week to hook up a computer to a projector and watch Batman! I can get in and practice the piano whenever I would like, its turning out to be fairly handy!

That and I get to use the little door on the side of the building and don't have to walk all the way to the middle front to get in. That's just me being lazy, but it was annoying passing that door and not being able to get in! Like I would have to walk from my dorm, around the building, pass the smaller door, go in the front then walk back in the direction I had come to go up a flight of stairs into my classroom. It was just annoying really and I hated doing it. But its all fixed now and I can be slightly lazy again! I don't worry to much about it because I have to go up and down 3 flights of stairs multiple times a day. SO, I think I'm allowed to be a little bit lazy on this. But the nice thing is if I ever get bitten by the work out bug late at night all I have to do is go walk up and down the stairs several times and I'll be good!

Laters!

Power of Love Between Friends

Power of Love Between Friends.

That was the title of my Bible devotion today. It was about David and Jonathan, an example at how we should love our friends. In todays world, I can see how (sadly) this would be taken as something completely opposite as what it really was between the two of them. They were best friends and nothing ever stood in the way of that friendship. Not even Saul who tried to kill David. Jonathan saved David's life and David would not kill Saul because he knew that Saul was the appointed king and also that he would hurt Jonathan if he killed his father. 

That should be the extend of our love between friends. So often we let petty arguments destroy something wonderful and lasting. Friends look past outward appearances and see what's on the inside of us. Even though you may fight and argue, you still love each other. One minute you could be yelling at each other, both are in tears, and then 20 minutes later you're talking/hugging it out then go sneak candy into the theatre at a kids movie. That's possible because of the love that you have for each other. Its not romantic, its a tie thats stronger than fleeting feelings. 

I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother, you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women. -2 Samuel 1:26

That isn't meant to be taken in a homosexual way, any more than 2 girls sharing a chair might be or 2 guys hugging. Too often friendships are treated as something they aren't. Two girls can't be super close best friends because people might start whispering about them. Two guys can't be super close because people might wonder what exactly is going on. A guy and a girl are best friends? Oh, they must be dating! To often things are twisted into what they aren't. 

But real friendship doesn't matter. You put aside the whispers, the rumors. You take your stand that what you're doing isn't wrong and then you go on, let people think what they want. A friendship is to important to throw away. 

Today I'm going to encourage you to call up your best friends and tell them how much you love them. Don't ever take them for granted. I've had fights with some of my best friends, things always work out in the end. I've also done the hard thing...I've lost a best friend. Now that they are gone, I can't even begin to describe how much I miss that person. I knew that if they left I'd miss out on some things, but I never thought the pain of losing that person would hurt as much as it does. 

So call up your friends, tell them how much they mean to you. Maybe you're currently fighting with a friend, call and apologize and ask them out to lunch or something. If you're truly best friends, then your love for each other will win in the end. 

"Poor are those who must define all love in terms of romance alone. Rich indeed are those who can say, 'I have a friend-we love each other.' In these friends' confident love every sunrise is welcomed, every crisis is easier, every pain has counsel, and every midnight is safe."

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. - Proverbs 17:17

Monday Mornings

Most people hate Monday mornings.

I guess I can understand that. You've just come off of (hopefully) an amazing weekend, you have to go back to work or school or both and you probably stayed up late the night before and don't really have a reason to be happy because freedom is an everlasting week away!

I've never really had a grudge against Mondays. Especially now that schools started and I find out what I get to start my week with every Monday morning at 9:30.

My major requires me to have so many practicum hours of working with different populations and I'm got signed up for the elementary school practicum! So that means that I get to sing songs, play games etc with them and without them knowing start working on their problems. Mostly I will be observing them but sometimes I will get to lead activities. We can help them with rhythm, hand-eye coordination, following directions etc. I'm still not sure exactly how everything works.

I'm not sure I'm going to stick with Music Therapy as my major. I'm still learning about it and even though it sounds fun and it is a bunch of things that I like combined, I'm not sure I want to spend my entire life doing it. I'll probably know by the end of this semester because I'm taking an Orientation to Music Therapy class which prety much goes over everything that we will be doing with this major. So in about 7 weeks I'll know for sure if this is what I'm supposed to do.

But no matter what happens, I'm really happy with how I get to spend my Monday mornings. I miss my daycare kids back home and just working with kids in general. These aren't "my" kids per say, but they have just as much energy, smiles and love as mine. So spending an hour with little bundles or joy and energy is a pretty awesome way to start the week.

Just After Midnight...It's A New Day! That Means a New Blog!

Today was pretty awesome.

First, the not so awesome part was the fact that I slept until almost 11:30. I just could not get myself to roll out of bed. But that is the latest I've slept in for months so I don't feel to bad for it, everyone needs a lazy day.

The fun part of the day began when me and two of my other friends decided to throw a small surprise party for another friend. We ran to Wal Mart to pick up a small cake, candles and some clothes for me that I need for school. My best friend messed up her foot really bad earlier this month skating so she'd hobbling around on crutches. So my friend and I convinced her to sit in a cart and we'd push her around. She hit me when after finding my clothes (that was the fastest shopping trip EVER) when I bounced up to the cart asking my friend how old his little girl was and that she was adorable. It was pretty funny watching her glare at us as we ran through Wal Mart. Lots of people stared, but hey whats life without making a scene?

So our friends dad ordered the pizza and we just had to pick it up. While waiting in the car, we had a jam session to Call Me Maybe and a few other fun songs on the radio. Might I say, the radio stations here are horrible. Anyway, on the way back we remembered we had to hit another Wal Mart because we had nothing to light candles with! So we pulled into Wal Mart and my friend got out of the car and I jumped in the drivers seat to go park it.

This was the creepy part of the day and I was very glad we had a boy with us. Just across from us and 1 car over was this black guy squatting on the ground smoking and he was giving me some looks, and they weren't really nice. My friend was taking forever so I texted him to hurry up because I was getting really creeped out. Then said creeper walked over to the car next to us and started talking. I noticed the car wasn't locked so I quickly did that because he was still giving me looks. Finally my friend came out and as he passed the creeper, creeper gave him a look. He got in the car, I shifted to the passenger seat and was very happy to drive away. I love going places with guys. I was with the same guy friend a few weeks ago when a small group of us went to Wal Mart. It wasn't super late, but the store was pretty empty but for the workers. We passed a group of male workers and I linked arms with my guy friend until they were outta sight. Boy friends (Boy. Friends. Not boyfriends.) are a really nice thing to have around.

Anyway, we got back to campus and surprised our birthday boy friend and had a great time. Then we went upstairs, watched some Castle then went back down and finished Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.

So I got some homework done which was good, we throw a pretty good spur of the moment surprise party, and I can't wait for the Hobbit to come out! And I can post this as a new blog for a new day because its 1am, which makes it a new day. Hurray!

Laters peeps!

Party Like A College Student! (Cool One's)

Its Friday night on campus, and what do we find ourselves doing? Sitting in a dorm lobby doing homework then watching a few episodes of Castle. Suddenly, the guys behind us start causing a ruckus. Turning we find them throwing Jelly Beans across the room trying to catch them in their mouths! So for about 20 minutes or so we watch them doing different tricks with Jelly Beans and then eat them all, no matter how many times they hit the floor or their feet. It was gross but entertaining non the less!

Later that night, I went outside to read a book when a group of people who had been playing hide and seek came by and invited me to play Apples to Apples in the Music Building with them. So we use my card to get in the building and went up in the choir room. A few of us hid and scared the others coming up because we kept all the lights off.

So we were up in the choir room until after midnight playing the game. I've never played with such a large group of people and normally I play with 8 or 9 year old's, so the game is never as entertaining as last night was.

I'm really loving college life. Random get cookouts, movie nights, games, meeting new people, Frisbee games, its fun! I'm still getting my school work done, but even that is enjoyable because there are places outside for me to go and sit for an hour or two and doing work. I'll be sad when it gets to cold to do any of that, but it shouldn't be for awhile.

Off to do some homework, I think tonights going to be another movie or Castle night.
Oh, and the best part about our partying? We remember what happened in the morning!!

Laters!

Latin and Spanish

So for the first time ever, I am required to sing a song in Latin.

I know how to sing, I can sing a high soprano, give me a song in English and I can learn it pretty fast! But hand me a song in Latin with a high soprano part that just moves and moves VERY quickly, I'm completely lost. I'm just making sounds and so when I go up high it sounds horrible and I know it. I have no clue what I am singing and it bothers me.

But for once of our performances we are singing a song in Latin, so I might as well suck it up and learn it!

I understand why they would have us do something like this in choir. It really is a beautiful language when its sung and when the basses sing certain parts I get goosebumps, but it really is annoying. I thought Spanish was hard!

Speaking of Spanish, I met a kid here who lived in Peru for 7 years and speaks Spanish fluently. The other night I came across him studying a textbook and I asked what he was studying. "I'm studying for my Spanish test tomorrow". Turns out Peruvian Spanish is different from the Spanish he was learning slightly. He gave me an example. He told me a Spanish phrase and told me what it meant to him in Peruvian Spanish. Basically it was I don't care. Not his exact translation but you get what I mean. But in the book, the literal meaning of the phrase was "I don't give a darn". For some reason that just made me laugh. He showed me, that is the exact wording from the book. I need to have him teach me that phrase in Spanish.

Well thats enough for now, laters!

Never What They Seem

How many times has something happened that you never saw coming? Something seemed fine but to late you realized that its not, its completely screwed up?

That happened to me this last week. There was a situation that I knew wasn't perfect but I thought it was beginning to work itself out. Things were going fine, as well as they could be expected with how the situation worked. After spending all summer wondering if fixing this situation was worth it, I was lead to believe it was. God kept throwing Bible verses at me, lessons, reminders. I decided to not give up and keep moving on. I figured things would get easier, and they started too!

But then everything came crashing down in a way that I never would have expected. Suddenly, I felt like nothing I had done mattered because the very thing that I was fighting to keep fell apart, instigated by the most unlikely source I imagined.

On the outside, everything was great. But on the inside there were fights going on that I didn't even know or could ever understand. Things were not as they appeared to be, and I'm left now with broken pieces that I don't think will ever be able to be put back together, and now the question is do I want them put back together? If the chance comes to try and put things to right, do I want it?

Today is kinda depressing I know.

On the bright side school is going fairly well and I finally got my books! I actually feel like I'm in school since I can carry around more than just notebooks with paper in them. I'll try to keep updating this more often with more tidbits from around campus!

Laters!

This is Home

So I have completed a little bit more than a week of school and its been fun so far! But that's only because out of a 5 day week we have only had 3 days of school. Last Friday I moved in along with most of the campus, then the weekend was spent making new friends, hanging out with the BSU people on campus and just learning our way around. Sunday we went to church then that afternoon we enjoyed what we thought would be our last free afternoon. Monday was class and the 2 I had seem like they will be interesting. One of them is a once a week class so I'm not sure how well I'll like being in class for 3 hours in the afternoon, but I can handle it for a trimester.

I don't have any of my books because they have to be ordered online and I didn't get my list until I actually went to the class. Its a messed up system. All the music books here must be bought online, we don't have a choice. We get to class and our teachers expect us to have the books and are disappointed to find out that we don't. But we still have to wait days for our books to get in. Then Monday afternoon we found out that Tuesday and Wednesday classes were canceled due to Hurricane Isaac. So Our school drive was completely killed. We didn't have books, we had 2 days off in the fist week and so we had nothing to do. Not how I would have liked my first week of school to go but all over I suppose it wasn't too bad. Though I would have rather had classes on Tuesday and canceled Thursday.

Tuesday is was beautiful! The weather was nice, it wasn't really hot or cold, it was just perfect. So many kids went home that the campus was fairly empty so we could do almost whatever we wanted. Tuesday night was when the rain started though. I played Frisbee outside for a bit in it so I suppose I can say that I played Frisbee in the hurricane, but it wasn't that bad. Wednesday it rained ALL DAY! Thursday really wasn't any better. Everyone was so sick of being wet and cold. My feet are incredibly sore because I (and half of campus) ditched wearing shoes. Why would we want to get our shoes wet? And flip flops are hard to walk in when everything is flooded, so we'd just carry them around in our bags or leave them in our room. Almost every time I walked into my dorm I'd throw my jacked in the dryer then pick it up later when I left.

But we went back to school on Thursday sadly. That night was fun though because the Student Government was holding a free skate night about 5 miles from school! They have those every few months. I had a ton of fun! It's nice to be able to skate without having to worry about running over my little kids. They had races and I won the girls race. I have a feeling that will become a fun thing we do every so often when we need a break.

Theres a Walmart just a little bit away from the school with a Sonic in front as well and right there is also a walk in Doctors office. Why do I know this? Because I spent my weekend cleaning and looking after sick people. My roommate got sick on Thursday and so she went home Friday morning. That night I went into a cleaning mode that had me busy for hours that night. I didn't want to take the chance of getting sick so I washed all her cloths and bedsheets, swept the floor, wiped down every surface and swept. I'm living on the 3rd floor at the end of the hall. No elevator. Stairs are in the middle of the hall. So I was going up and down those stairs at least once every half hour for about 3 hours. Always carrying a basket of laundry or a trashcan. My legs were so sore.

But I got it all done and so I could sleep easy that night knowing I did my best to get rid of the germs. Since I'm not sick I'm assuming that I did a good enough job. Saturday was also spent around sick. My best friend has been fighting a cold for ages and finally he agreed to go to the Dr. So we woke up and I drove him into town. We did get lost a little because I missed the street, but it worked. And now I know where to go if we ever need a dr, so hurray! Then across the street to get the meds, had complications, went back to school, ate lunch, helped with homework (since I don't have any books I can't really do anything), took a nap, then waited around on said sick person to wake up so we could go get the correct meds. 

Since this is long enough I'm cutting it off here, but there is a run down view of my week at school. I really have lost my drive though, so I'm trying to stay busy doing one thing or another so I don't just sit and watch movie on my computer all day. Its felt like more of a summer camp than actual school, but I guess next week (on Tuesday) the real fun will begin. Goodbye for now!

2 Days, 23 Hours and Counting

Its early in the morning, this is the second to last time I'll sleep in my bed until November. I've been up watching movies and making bracelets. Today's (yesterday, but since I haven't slept yet it's today) been, kinda a stressful day. Nothing seemed to go the way I planned it too. Things I expected to complete had to be postponed to tomorrow, things that should have been done last week are still left unfinished simply because its out of my control. I have no motivation to get up and start packing, so it was incredibly easy to go off and help my mom with something, or practice volleyball with my sister, or go play the piano. I'm really stressing over this college stuff.

I'm so ready to move out and get on my own its suffocating! But all the same, I don't feel ready. I look around me and see other kids who are my age and younger, but they all seem like the older college students I looked up to as a 10yr old. I look in the mirror and don't see an almost 20 year old girl, I still see the selfconcious girl in 7th grade who was terrified of speaking up in a new place.

I can be a little apprehensive about the future, I'd be crazy not to be! I think what I'm trying to say can be summed up in a scene from C.S. Lewis' "Prince Caspian". Aslan is telling Caspian that he is a king of Narnia and Caspian tells him that he does not think that he is ready for it. Aslan calms his fears by saying "it is for that very reason, that I know you are".

48 hours from right now, I'll be sleeping (hopefully) somewhere in a hotel waiting for the sun to rise and a new adventure to begin. About 7 1/2 hours later, I'll be driving in the front gate and the adventure will begin. Tomorrow I'm going to try and take my own advice and just let things happen. I'm not going to stress about packing or getting things done, just do it and do it all with a smile on my face!

Here's to all you college students out there. Whether you're going back to college, whether you're starting college, hey this even goes for you high school kids! Life's an adventure. Don't be afraid to step out and enjoy it.

A New Chapter

This week I'll be starting a new chapter in my life by moving off to college! My dad mentioned in church last Sunday about how people should ask me how it happened that I found this school. Well no one did, but thats okay. I"ll write it here and maybe if you want to read it you can.

Last September I really felt the need to get out of my hometown and go somewhere on my own. I wanted to go to a new school and actually be away from home. One of my best friends from out of state was in his senior year of high school and he was looking for schools as well. We both wanted to go to a Christian school, that was really important to us. I told him I was going to look for a new school about the same time that he was changing his life plan so he suggested that we look for schools together. His mom had printed out a list of all the Christian schools within 12 hours of their house; which meant that they were anywhere from 6-18 hours away from me.

He was looking for schools with a good ministry program while I wasn't entirely sure, so I went with something I loved-theatre. His mom went through and crossed out all the ones that were out of our price range so all we had to do was look through a list about half the size of what it was. He'd read a name off the list and we'd both go to the website and look it over, if we liked it we'd write it down to inspect closer later. By the end of the day, we each had 4 schools that we liked. 3 of them were the same. We had to get off the computer then, so we prayed over the schools on our list and were going to look closer the next day. This was Thursday.

So Friday we got back on the computer and pulled back up the schools. The 1 school that we each picked that was different from the other we really chose so that way we'd have a different choice than the other so it didn't seem like we were only picking schools that we could go to together. We just both liked the same schools and they offered what we really liked. So we crossed that first school off fairly quick. That left us with College of the Ozarks, Blue Mountain College, and William Carey University. We spent an hour or two going over each school. For different reasons, either it was we didn't like the program they offered us, didn't like the location, didn't like how it was set up,  we crossed off the first two schools from our list. I found it a little funny that it was the same school, when neither of us thought that was really an option to go to school at the same place. We agreed to pray about it and later on in the weekend we'd decide if that was really where God wanted us.

Saturday we both received confirmation from God that was almost impossible to miss that He wanted us both at William Carey. So while my best friend was completely sure about it and he could start working towards it, I still had to find a way to get my dad on board. I knew I was supposed to go, but I knew how my dad felt about me studying theatre. So then I just had to pray for a way to tell my dad about it.

My parents had wanted me to take a test that told you different things that you might be good at. I wasn't really into it, but I went ahead and did it the following Tuesday. I was given a bunch of little booklets that had different vocations on them that I might be good at. One stood out to me-Music Therapy. The more I looked at it, the more I liked it. I showed it to my mom and she felt like I would be good at it and it was something I could spend my life doing. So I decided that I was going to go to study Music Therapy, but now I needed a school that offered it. I had already decided I liked W.C.U., but what if they didn't have Music Therapy?

I went to the College Board website and did a college search. Its actually pretty fun, you can chose what states you want to go to, what programs you'd like, if its a small/medium/large school, all boys, all girls, stuff like that. So I did a search and the only limitations I put on it was it had to offer Music Therapy as a major and it had to be a Baptist college. When it showed me the results of the search, there was only one school on the list. William Carey University.

I was ecstatic! I knew the Saturday before that I was supposed to be going to W.C.U., I just needed a way to go, and here it was. So this weekend I'll be moving into my dorm along with my best friend, but also my "sister" will be my roommate, and another close friend will be going there as well! My best friend has a roommate from his hometown that he knew a little bit, and one of my girl friends has a friend going there as well, so I have a group of 5 people that I have met in some form or fashion.

God really does provide, and its so interesting to see how he works things out. If you had told me that I'd be going to school with 2 of my best friends, I wouldn't have believed you. If you had told me how I was going to find myself at this school, it would have seemed far fetched. But God is good, and He works things out according to His plan and purpose. All I have to do is hold on, keep up, and enjoy the ride.

Peru!

Hello Everyone :) In December I'm going to be going off to Peru on a mission trip. I'm so excited for it!! Although the preparing part isn't so nice. I've put off sending out letters for awhile sadly, so I've popped in the Zorro movies and plan to work on all that while watching with my little sister.

Sadly, today was my last day of work at the daycare. It was pretty sad...I've worked there for over a year. But its been good, and hopefully I can return next year :)

Here is a first draft of my mission letter, I'd love it if everyone could pray for me and the team I am joining!!

"Dear Friends and Family,

            This past January God opened a door for me to do something I had been praying to do for years-serve Him on a foreign mission trip! I will be joining a church in Mississippi working with Go World Missions (www.goworldmissions.org). Our plan is to serve the people of Peru for a little more than a week during the Christmas holiday by providing meals and handing out Bibles. In addition to this, we hope to raise enough money to buy toys and shoes for the children there. By serving the people of Peru, we can show them God’s love and hopefully open their hearts to Him.

            I need two things in order for this to happen. First and always foremost, we need prayer! Please pray that our trip there and back again is safe and simple. Also that everyone in our party remains in good health but most importantly that the people of Peru open their hearts to the message that we are bringing them.

            Second is raising the funds. In order to go I need to raise $2,300. I know God will provide the money that I need in order to go. The money will go towards airfare mostly as well as ground transportation, the expense of staying there and the food that we will be serving.

            If you would be willing to support me in one or both of these areas I would be extremely grateful! I cannot wait to see what all God has in store for us as we further His kingdom!

                                                                                    Blessings,

                                                                                                   Heidi Rochelle

                                                                            

He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation

.-Mark 16:15"

Closing and Beginning

The London Olympics have reached their conclusion and with them I'm beginning to reach my own. Next Thursday I'll be packing up and driving off to open a new chapter of my life at school away from home. Its my second year in college, but this year I'm actually attending school away from home.

It's been a bit nerve-wracking getting ready for it. I'm the first kid to leave home for school so its been a learning experience for my parents and myself on the Do's and Don'ts for preparing for school.

This week is my last week of work and then I'll be saying goodbye to my kids until next summer sadly. I'm ready for a break from them, I need some time to not be around kids...but I'm going to miss them so much!! I know I'm going to cry at some point this week by saying goodbye to all of them.

I've made the computer switch from PC to Apple, and it's different for sure.

Well I'm going to end this because I am completely distracted by the giant blowup octopus in the middle of the London Stadium for the closing ceremony, but I promise there will be more blogs to come in the next few weeks! Goodnight all!!

My Little Family

My kids at work haven't forgotten our "family" from Tuesday. In fact, they make sure all the other kids in our group who missed out know about it and get them involved too. I was a bit worried about that. Its fun to play like they're all siblings and call them different names and hear 'MOMMY' being called across the room (in a playful manner), but I was concerned about the fact they might start undermining my authority as the counselor and getting out of control with it all.

But today I decided I didn't really have to. Only 1 girl takes it to far, she insists on being known as only "Lizzy" and will be the crazy one. But after talking to her, she did calm down and I talked to my kids, telling them what would happen if they started getting out of line. So from then on things went fine! I'm really glad too, I've seen a small change in my group this past week.

We go to rooms and instead of the kids breaking off into small groups of 2-3, everyone's been playing together and they're getting along! I've watched some kids who never really played together before spend hours running around because they are brothers or sisters and so they have something in common to play. I've actually had less problems out of them when we are in small group time because they are playing so well together! I'm not sure how long this is going to last before they all get tired of it and move on back, but it really has been a fun week with our little 'game'.

Things in Common

Yesterday I was at work playing air hockey with some of my kids. I don't remember how it started, but they were talking about siblings and finally, they turned to me and asked about mine. (I knew it was coming, the great thing about kids, they always pull you into their conversations.) I started out saying I had two sisters, but then told them those weren't biological. I knew one girl in my group was adopted like me, so that was for her sake. Then this other girls speaks up and says that she was adopted as well! So the three of us sat around and talked about being adopted. One was from Russia, myself and the other girl are here in Texas. We talked about the biological siblings they had, why our parents had to give us up, how old we were when we were adopted (none of us over 8 months) and about our adopted families.

What I really enjoyed was even though they both like me, when they found out that Miss Heidi was like them, they established a connection that no one else in our group has. Yes they're 8 years old and it doesn't mean that much to them, but it means enough to know that I've got something in common with them. It was also fun to have the other kids listen in and ask questions etc. I love going to work!!

Happy 4th of July everyone!!!

Boring Days

I passed out at work yesterday, and my mom believes it was heat exhaustion from last week. So as a result she didn't want me to go to work and made me stay indoors. Which is KILLING me!! I'm suffering from cabin fever. Would play the piano but one of my fingers is twisted...would play more guitar but I haven't practiced in AGES so my fingers are soft so they can only handle so much. Cleaned a bit...organized some pictures, watched some movies, just really wasted time. Its nice to have a day off...but I really really really can't wait to go back to work tomorrow!!

Yes this blog was completely pointless...I need to go find something else to do...

Back in the World

Well, I survived a week at camp! It was different than every other year of course because I came back as staff instead of a camper. When a change like that happens, things will always be different and slightly difficult. I think even if I waited a year between graduating and coming back as staff would have been hard.

My week was very interesting, very hard, but in so many ways rewarding. I really needed this week at camp. The year between this June and last has been filled with many ups and downs, and I really needed to distance myself from the world and reset my focus on God. Even though I wasn't a camper, I didn't receive near the amount of scripture or free time to study with God, just being in a place that for me symbolizes peace and serenity and closeness with our Father was enough to get me going back where I was supposed to be.

Bogg Springs Camp is as much home as my hometown is. Not in a physical sense, but just the feeling of relief I have when I get within a few miles of the camp. I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. Campers, Game Staff, Bible Teachers, Counselors...I've heard people in each category say that going to camp is like going to a home. A place where we are surrounded by fellow believers with a common purpose, to spend time with God.

I realized just what a position I was in to reach kids this week at camp. I'm friends with one of the girls on a JV team because I'm friends with her older brother. Every time I saw her around camp I'd call out and wave (and if she saw me first, my name was the one being called) and by doing that, other JV girls started noticing me. Saturday, I was loading things in my car and one of the girls who constantly said hi from a distance came up, gave me a hug and asked me if I was coming back next year; and she wasn't the only one. I made friends with one of the leaders youngest daughter there and she'd always come up and say hi and give me a hug. I accepted a challenge to hula hoop the longest against 2 JV girls (which I lost, I was wet and didn't bother to change my shirt, so the wet sleeves of my Tshirt caught the hoop) and later one came up to me and just started talking about different hula hooping stuff she had done. My brother kept encouraging me to talk to one of the boys in his cabin, and soon he was also on my list of kids to wave too whenever we passed. I know I won't remember half the kids' names next year...but from experience as a camper myself, I know they will remember me. And even if I remember their face and just one thing about them, they'll be on cloud nine. Even though I didn't do anything really big for them...it brought smiles to their faces. Maybe it helped them not be so homesick, who knows. We never really know what is going on in a kids head, but that maybe I helped brighten a kids week...that's enough to make me want to return every year!

While HS kids aren't as easy to help out...one experience was enough to make cold showers, long hours in the sun, sunburns, almost no time to myself, bug bites and minor annoyances worth it. One night, all the counselors and staff were standing around the campers seats during the invitation. Two girls got up and made their way outside instead of down to the alter. I checked their counselor, she didn't seem like she was going to follow them, and no one else (surprisingly) seemed to notice. My first instinct was to follow them so someone was keeping an eye on them, (thank working at a Day Care for a year, I like having kids in my sight range) and we really did need to have someone who knew where they were. I knew one of them fairly well, so I was sure she wouldn't mind if I sat just where I could see them. But stepping outside, they were right by the door. I simply put a hand on the crying girls shoulder, just so she would know I was there and went to walk a bit away when she suddenly threw herself upon me, sobbing. I wasn't sure I should say anything, and I know that sometimes we don't need to talk...just knowing someone is there for us is enough. She calmed down as our friend and I hugged her, praying silently.

I was about to suggest going back inside because I still wasn't sure it was a good idea for us to be out there since we were supposed to be inside for chapel when suddenly...this girl I had never met before just opened up to me and told me what she was fighting with in her heart. All three of us were in tears by the end of her story. We were forced to move back inside because Chapel was dismissed and people were filtering outside. My heart was breaking for this poor girl who shouldn't have ever had to deal with what she was struggling with, and I was also filled with emotion over the fact that for some reason, this girl I didn't know had opened up her deepest secret and hurt to me; that God gave her some trust in me.

Later, I was reminded of the position I was in. The girls told me they probably wouldn't have gone to a counselor about their problems, at least not that one. What I was told by my games staff director the first night of camp flew back into my head. That because we are closer in age to the campers, they trust us more to a point. We are young enough to still understand what they are dealing with on their level, or at least remember better than the older staff what it was like.

My purse had ended up outside somehow, so when I went to retrieve it, a boy that I had known for several years followed me and asked me to pray for something he had been dealing with for awhile. I was slightly surprised at the maturity and emotion he had in his face as he shared with me something I knew he hadn't told anyone about, at least not someone who qualified as an "adult". I had known this boy for several years, and most people saw him as simply a trouble maker, but for that small amount of time, I saw him for what he truly was, an insecure little boy who was lost in a world full of adult problems and didn't know what to do.

I only had 2 campers really open up to me with huge problems at home that they didn't know how to deal with. That's 2 more stories than I thought I would hear. I thank God for those two kids, because while they saw me as ministering to them, praying for them, being there for them...I saw them as God Sightings. God was showing me that He could use me in places I didn't expect to be used-and I didn't even have to try. He can use us as tools in places we aren't sure we belong, in ways we didn't realize were so important. They were an encouragement to me throughout the week. My view of one camper was changed and I made a new friend in another. At times, I wonder if God gives us people who are having problems for the same reason He gave them us, a reminder that He is still there.

Leaving camp was hard, as it always is. A lot of my problems I feel like I haven't made any progress in working out. I'm still confused, still unsure of what exactly I am supposed to be doing, or how on earth I am going to survive some things that are coming up into my life. But I've walked away with my eyes a bit more open, a better understand of how God moves sometimes, memories with friends (even if I didn't get to hang with them as much as I would have liked), memories with kids that will never understand the effect they had on me.

I close tonight with an encouragement...never doubt that God can use you. Never tell yourself He will or won't do something through you, and even when the world tells you to do one thing, even if they think its in the best interest, God can have a completely different plan. Sometimes it just requires you following your heart and what HE is telling you instead of what everyone else says.

Goodnight everyone, sweet dreams world!

First Sunburn and Jobs

So I took advantage of the day off to get a sunburn while washing cars with my sister and reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets for awhile this afternoon. I got in some good piano practice time and read a fanfiction online. (Which I haven't done in a really long time) Tomorrow I start working full-time for the summer and I'm super excited!! I don't mind the waking up at 7am-I haven't slept back 7:30 in who knows how long anyway-or spending 8 hours with a bunch of crazy kids. I do hate the fact that I don't have as much time to play piano, be creative or go outside when the sun is still up high, but other than that I don't care.

I don't mind the sunburn, cause I know it will tan nice and if I can manage staying outside as much as possible until camp I should have a nice base tan to keep from getting to burnt. Unlike my sisters, who burn but don't tan, my burns turn tan pretty fast. So while I still might be the palest person I know, at least I tan in the summer!!

Bedtime now. My finals words, everyone should go to youtube and look up TobyMac's song "Me Without You", thats the only place that has it that I know of right now. Its good :) so go do it!!!

Young vs Old

I don't understand what makes adults think that they are so much smarter and better off than us teens or young adults. Now let me explain. I know that adults have more responsibility than we do, and I respect that. They have jobs, families, stuff we don't have to deal with yet. But at times it really ticks me off when they look at us as if we don't have any idea of what we are talking about. It's as if we don't need to have any opinion at all!

Growing up this is kinda okay. The whole children should be seen and not heard thing? I can understand that to a point, and adults know way better than kids, and kids are still in that learning stage where everything has to be explained. But by the time we reach older teens young adults, how are we supposed to start standing on our own two feet and making our own decisions unless we have a voice?

Supposedly adults always know best, are always right, and always deserve our respect in everything they do.

Now yes, adults have a lot more experience than we do, they've lived longer. And while they might have been right about you not going to that movie with your friends because it wasn't the best idea in the world, that doesn't mean they were right in keeping you home from spending the night with a friend. And respect, yes we should always respect our elders, but that doesn't mean as we become adults ourselves we can't lose our respect for them. (Please don't think I'm giving out excuses, even if you don't hold someone in the highest respect, everyone deserves to be treated with respect.)

The thing that really annoys me though is how many adults think of themselves as superior to us, simply because they are adults. They are more mature, past trivial things that we do and just are in general better. Really, they aren't to much.

One of my favorite movies is House Arrest. It's an older movie with Jamie Lee Curtis in it. The basic plot is a boy, Grover, and his sister lock their parents in the basement because they are separating. As the film goes on, other kids catch wind of the plan and bring their own parents with problems of their own to the basement in an attempt to have them work out their problems. The gangly crew consists of Grover, his sister, his best friend along with his two younger brothers, the most popular girl in school and the school bully. While the kids have their own problems getting along before this, they all bond and become great friends. As they sit around the dinning room table getting along, one makes the comment that the adults could learn from them. These different kids all managed to get along and work out their differences without any adult interference. Yet their own parents were arguing and splitting in their marriages.

Last weekend a friend and I drove to the Louisiana Boardwalk for the day. As we were leaving, we made a wrong turn which took us into Shreveport instead of back to I-20. Instead of freaking out and panicking, we kept our heads on and figured there must be a sign leading us back to where we wanted somewhere. Sure enough, the blue sign for I-20 popped up and we enjoyed the scenic tour. We started talking about how our parents always reacted when they made a wrong turn or got lost. Our moms started going into full navigator mode, even if they weren't needed. "Okay dear, turn here, or there, or up there. Or you could pull over and ask for directions! Now there has to be a sign around her somewhere." Our dads would stick to these two phrases: "Shut up" and "I know what I'm doing!" while they drove around with steam coming out of their ears. This is pretty much how it goes. They get lost, flip out, lose all common sense and while the way out might be short, the tempers are even shorter and normally end with everyone in the car not talking until the storm has passed.

I'm sure a lot of kids around my age have heard their parents or other adults say that we need to get over our problems with our peers and just learn to get along, because that's what you do when you grow up. I was under the impression as a kid that all adults got along, drama was for middle school and while you might not like someone a whole lot when you are older, they would never stoop so low as to do something mean to another adult.

Oh how wrong I was.

I have seen some adults who are worse than any teen or preteen I have ever met. You still have your people who get mad at everyone else and cause fights. Then there are the drama addicts who can't seem to stay away from getting involved in a real-life soap opera. You have your gossipers, you're backstabbers, those people who are just over all pains, loudmouths, spoiled brats, pretty much everything you've ever imagined. I know of a few people who cause more problems then they solve and everyone sees it. They like to think they are doing everyone a great service, only making things better, but they are so off base!

As I grow older and see more and more happenings between adults I have decided that in a way we never grow up to be adults. I think a better explanation is that we just simply become older teens.


*I know I have some adults who read my writing, and I hope that I haven't offended anybody. Its just my thoughts and observances.

**When I refer to teens here, and in a lot of my writing, I mean older teens, like 17-19 yrs, maybe 16. Now that I'm in my last year as a teen, I really see the maturity gap between a 13yr and a 19yr, and its bigger than I thought it was. So most of the time, I don't mean young teens, I mean the older ones who are preparing to launch into the world.

What's Right and Wrong?

(Warning: Kind of a serious rant here...Some things may not want to be read or put images into your head you might not like...And I'm speaking of generations as a whole, I know there are exceptions to everything so don't think its directly towards you.)

What kind of world do we live in?

A young boy I know, just in Jr. High, had oral sex with a girl and doesn't seem to understand how that is wrong. A girl I know, she's still only 18, was slipped a rape drug, had sex with a guy and miscarried about a month later. Passed out a 5 week fetus. She told me it was traumatic, and yet I'm sure she's still going out to parties and still sleeping with her boyfriend. I'm sure a good number of people I know have done something stupid they know they shouldn't do, but they did it anyway. I see 5th grade girls who look and act like they are 17. When I was in Jr. High, I was talking to my best friends about our crushes, the cute guys in the movies, the college age waiter at a restaurant who was WAY to old for us and losing my homework. Now days I hear about Jr. High girls losing their virginity and having kids. High School isn't much better from what I hear.

Kids go out and party, college students, I know a MOTHER who goes and loses her head on the weekends. But no one ever stands up and talks to people about the things they do, try to help them see how what they are doing is stupid. Most of us just except it now as part of life. Girls go out, get pregnant, who are we to judge? Boys go get drunk, sleep with any girl who will give themselves up, and do we condemn it as wrong? No. Is it really our business, in a way yes.

Now can we go around the clubs, schools, parties and places like that, get all up in peoples faces and tell them that they are messing up? No, that's rude and inconsiderate! No one's perfect, so we can't pretend we are some super person who is. We have to start with the ones we know. Parents, grandparents, you raised this generation...its not completely our fault we turned out this way. Teens, kids, young adults-we're stupid and reckless. Lets get over ourselves, okay? If we want to fix this, we have to start now.

Parents, if you don't talk about stuff like this to your kids, who will? The school system? They only care about this when it refers to groups as a whole. The whole purpose of having parents is for them to teach us how to live our lives, tell us what is right from wrong. You can't just skip your kids off to school and expect them to turn out as fine, outstanding citizens of whatever town you live in. You are our parents, you are supposed to be our teachers, and if you don't like that I'm sorry. Maybe you should have thought about that before having kids. Your teaching never stops. And when you get older, whatever you taught us will be taught to your grand kids. Every generation of parents is charged with the upbringing of the next generation, something that should not be taken lightly.

Kids (teens, college students, whoever isn't a parent), we need to open our ears and listen. At least show curtsey and respect. I know some people don't really deserve it, but as our elders, they need at least a little. Also we have brains, lets use them every once in a while shall we? Everywhere we look we are told to think "in the moment" and to seek out pleasure...but think about how what you do tonight, or tomorrow night, can affect your entire future. Girls-you may go to a party and even though you think it will never happen to you, you get slipped a drug. You wake up, disorganized, confused, and in some boys bed. A few weeks later you might be passing just a few weeks old fetus during your period, or you may find out that its still living and you're pregnant. Boys-one night of fun may not turn out so great a few months later when you get a call that your girlfriend is having your baby.

Drugs and alcohol are not cool, they can do a whole lot of damage to your body and your brain. Smoking is disgusting, have you seen what happens to people who smoke for years? Just by looking at them, you can tell they smoke. We aren't immortal...we aren't above the law... we make a lot of mistakes and they will have consequences for them...

Like I said, we can't just go out and start protesting in the streets and making a scene. But we can start with those close to us. Our friends, our family. Your kids, your grand-kids, your best friend. We can be the small stones that start an avalanche. We can be the spark that ignites a flame.

Schools Out, Let Summer Begin!!!!

I apologize for my VERY extended leave of absence. But the good news is now finals are DONE and I can spend a few weeks relaxing before starting work full time and hitting a crazy school schedule.

2 of our duck eggs have hatched!!!! Yoda and Carter! (I have absolutely no say in the names, all my sisters choice.) Yoda came into the world yesterday and he hates being alone, but cuddling up against us is fine. Cater is still in the incubator cause he just made an appearance a few hours ago and is to wet to come out yet. I hope the noise from Yoda will die some when we put the two of them together tomorrow!

I am exhausted...so farewell!!!

Winter?

Okay...its April. So for Texas it should be kinda hot already. I should not walk out of work and be COLD!!

But I guess it wouldn't be Texas without this crazy weather, would it?

School is wrapping up for everyone and I know that's a relief.

But tonight I am much to tired to stay awake and write a blog. The thunderstorms woke me up at 5:30am and I couldn't go back to sleep.

Goodnight to all, and to all a goodnight.

English Teachers.

Why do English teachers make us dig so deep into the stories. I understand getting themes etc out of it, how there is a deeper meaning, I love that stuff! I think its great! But honestly, I think you as a reader have put more into this story than the author did.

Like the fact that the curtains were blue. You want us to dig deep and figure out the significance of the fact that the curtain is blue.

You know, maybe the author just wanted the curtains to be blue.

There is no underlining meaning about how the blue represents the cold winter, or his depression, or the fact that his goldfish died when he was 2 and it had a devastating effect on him, maybe he just wanted it to be blue because he liked the color! Or blue matched the walls! Or maybe he just needed a short little word and blue is fairly short!

I really don't think the fact that the writer mentioned blue curtains is the central point of the story, so can we move on now?

(For anyone who is wondering, no I didn't read a story that has this stuff about blue curtains, just an example conceived out of frustrations.)

Catching Up

SORRY!! I apologize for my absence, but such is the life of a college student.

Saturday was my sisters high school banquet and I spent all afternoon doing their hair and makeup. Then that evening I went out with some friends for my birthday and watched Titanic in 3D. I haven't seen it before so of course I liked it, but the 3D wasn't the best. Anyway, got out after midnight, took a friend home, went home myself and crashed.

Sunday was my actual birthday, and it was just long and tedious to tell the truth. I had two tests to study for, everyone was tired and on nerves because no one was in bed before 1am (and the other members of my family can't stay up that late without being cranky) and just overall in a bad mood. That and my birthday kinda sneaked up on everyone, so we didn't really have anything planned for it. But its alright, I ended it by watching the new Winnie the Pooh movie.

Monday-Tests. Tests. Tests. I'm so ready for school to be out! I did get some long awaited news from the school I'm transferring too, so that put a bright spot on the day. But the best thing was the late birthday package from my sister in MS. Her mom gave me these cute silver Tinker Bell earrings and one of those 3D type Disney Princess cups and my sister gave me the Broadway Beauty and the Beast soundtrack, a plaque with a Lion King Quote, and a collectors plate showing the presentation of Simba from the Lion King. Get the feeling I'm a Disney fan?

Today I've completed my English final paper which I will turn in tomorrow, and then I have to give an oral presentation on Monday and I can just sit back and relax in English until finals! Yippie!

So now I am going to go celebrate by doing something that doesn't involve staring at a computer screen. Until next time!

Don't Cross the Line

Today I have come to the conclusion that all the "be true to yourself" is a bunch of crap.

Let me explain: I think its great! And I think that everyone should be true to their self! Everyone tells us to be whoever we want to be, even if it means going against the social norms. The world pushes individuality (at least America does) and telling us to forget what everyone else thinks. But its really not true! What the world is really saying is "Be true to yourself, but don't cross the line."

We still have to conform to be what everyone else wants us to be. When we go in for a job interview, are we completely ourselves? No we aren't! We become what the potential employer wants us to be. Everyone is acting like they are someone else on a daily basis to be what everyone else wants us to be. Raise your hand (figuratively) if you have several personalities. I'm not talking about being crazy, but how many of you are one person at work, a different person at home, still another person when you're out with your friends and then a person completely different from the others when you are walking around by yourself.

Even though we are being bombarded by the message to be true to ourselves, we really aren't. We care to much about appearances and what other people will think of us to really be true to our self.

I started thinking about this when I had to read "The Death of a Salesman" for English this week. The main character, Willy Lowman, spends his entire life doing something he's not really good at because he's chasing the American Dream, the almighty dollar, the belief if you are popular and well liked you can do anything. He eventually kills himself so his family can collect the insurance and they would be better off. His oldest son finally comes to the conclusion that their family should not have been in the city with his father being a salesman, they should have moved in the country where they could do work with their hands, because that is what is in their blood and what they are good at. His youngest son though, follows his misguided father's idea that everyone can still get to the top. That is the American Dream. How wrong this is! By conforming to what the world wants of us, by following what everyone else is doing, we are essentially giving up who we really are!

The only person I can think of right now who makes an excellent example of someone who really is true to herself and doesn't care what anyone else thinks of her is Luna Lovegood from the Harry Potter series. I admire this girl because of it. From her giant hats of enchanted animals that she wears for the quidditch games, to her radish earrings, her clothes, her belief in all the things that she can't see. She's not crazy, in fact she's perfectly sane. She knows she doesn't really have friends but she doesn't care, it doesn't deter her. She is the person who will speak up and say what everyone is thinking, even if no one will say it. Luna has the rare personality makeup of that she doesn't care what anyone else thinks about her, she doesn't make herself what everyone else wants. She is who she is, she is not ashamed of it, and even if everyone is laughing at her, she won't change.

Yeah, I'm in a weird mood today. We're stuck, aren't we? Everyone wants to be true to themselves, but only a handful of people actually are. The rest of us are always acting.

So here's a trick, be true to yourself and for a few days be true to ONLY yourself. Don't put on an act, don't change when you are around different people. I'm sure some people reading this don't really think about the fact they have different acts around different people. But watch yourself for a little while, I'm sure you'll see that you do have different ways of acting.

Okay, I'm going to go be true to myself in the way of eatting a banana split, so until next time!!

Surprises

Today was full of surprises. Some pleasant, some not so pleasant.

The day started off with a phone call from my best friend that was completely out of the blue! It woke me up and got me in a good mood to start my day. But then after that, I found that our dishwasher was broken! So now all the dishes have to be washed by hand, which is kind of annoying because I’m a small germaphobe and have to do it alone. Just kinda gross for me.

I didn’t manage to get all of my studying done for tomorrow, so that was kinda annoying.  But then I had another happy surprise call from my best friend, and had a break in work to find a txt that made me smile. Then I came home and my TV wasn’t working for the showing of NCIS, so my sister and I watched Glee. But as I’m writing this it seems like it is working for NCIS:LA. Of course now the screen goes to crap yet again. Anyway, lets see if maybe I can have another nice surprise today and it will all work!!

Okay I’m done ranting now, and sadly that’s all the time I have time for, ranting about tv shows. Here’s to a better tomorrow!! J but altogether today has been pretty good!

School Issues

College is just one big headache. We're winding down in the time left in the semester, which means that our project assignments, tests as well as studying levels go WAY up!!! That and we have to start getting everything set up for our schooling next semester.

Today I had to get my mom to try and figure out why on earth my Dr.'s office hasn't gotten my shot records through to my new school yet (we've only tried it 3 times) while I signed myself up for a summer remedial math class. Tomorrow I have to fill out my housing application and get that sent in, study for some tests, edit my research paper and start preparing for finals as well as planning three nights of Worship service with my "sister" who lives 5 hours away for a youth revival my church is hosting in less than three weeks.

It's crunch time! And honestly I am glad that in a month I will be completely done with this semester. Of course I just have to survive the next few weeks. Any other students out there feeling the same way? I don't know about everyone else, but I have reached the point of  being ready to be done with school. At least having different classes and a change of scenery.

Okay, stopping my rant now and signing off to go do some cramming before I go to bed. There simply aren't enough hours in the day to do everything!! At least tomorrow is Tuesday, its NCIS and NCIS:LA night!! <3

Goodnight!!

Easter

Happy Easter everyone!! All I have time for today.

HE IS NOT HERE, HE IS RISEN!!!!! :D

Watch this!!!!
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V  V  V  V
God's Not Dead

Ducks and Birthday's!

Yesterday afternoon I came home from shopping with some friends to find my two sisters in the living room setting up our old incubator and putting 18 duck eggs inside of it!! The nephew of a couple in our church found the eggs in his flower box and didn't want them, so we got them! We used to raise ducks years ago, but the last time we attempted it ended in disaster. They were big enough to place outside, so we set up a cage like we had done before, but the next morning we woke up to find 5 out of 6 had disappeared and the 6th and smallest one was dead.

So after that we couldn't even find the will to look for more eggs and dropped the yearly ordeal. But now We have 18, so hopefully at least 6 will hatch and we can once again be mommas!! I was informed by my sisters that all of them are going to have Star Wars names. I love Star Wars...but not sure how I feel about naming ducks after them...

So it's Saturday and I'm going to start and end the day with a party!! Don't worry, nothing bad. Just ones for some of my kids from work! I love being invited to their parties!

Anyway, the first one is over and the second one is at 6, and I still have some things I have to do today so pip-pip cherrio for now!

Question

Why do we roll up our windows?

I mean, everything is electic now, so there isn't much reason to "roll them up" anymore, why haven't we come up with something different?

Leave a comment with your thougths on the question!! :) Thats all I have time for today!

April Fools!!

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY EVERYONE!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY!!!

Yes, I am in love with my Weasley twins! Who wouldn't be?

So here we come to the day where you can trust NO ONE! Seriously, don't even trust your mom. She's probably got some crazy plan cooked up to dump slime on you when you least expect it.

I would hate to have something important happen on this day, who could you tell that would actually believe you??

I wouldn't want to get proposed to on this day, cause thats just cruel.
I wouldn't want to find out that I'm pregnant on this day for two reasons.
    1. The doctor might be pulling your leg
    2. Who could you call? No one would believe you!!
I'd hate to be in a car accident on this day because if you tried telling someone they might not believe you :P talk about frustrating.
I'd hate to get a job call on this day.

Okay yeah...this is just not a good day for something important to happen! Let's just leave it at that.

So here's to you all on this day of pranks, keep each other safe, keep faith!

Stand for What's Right.

So class on Monday had an interesting turn of events. My Sociology teacher requested that everyone stand up at the front of the class. There she had written "agree" and "disagree" on different sides of the board. The purpose was, she would read a question and we would move to whichever side we agreed with. I knew immediantly what question would be somewhere on that list and my brain begain trying to decide what to do. It started off with would you date someone who wasn't apart of your race. Most of us moved to the agree side. There isn't anything wrong with that. Next was would your parents be okay with you dating someone of a different race. A few of us moved to the disagree side though most remained on the agree side. A few things went on and then came the one that I had known was coming, even if it was worded different. "If you were at a party and a gay couple came in and started holding hands etc, would you be okay with that?" Bascially are you okay with gay people.

I'll admit, my first response was to just go with the group, I didn't want to stand out and didn't want to have attention drawn to me on this aspect. Then I asked myself why I was thinking like that. The Bible says that marriage is between one man and one woman. So this is wrong, so no I'm not okay with it. And if it goes against what my God says, and if I am against it, then I need to be brave and stick with that, no matter what. Only 3 of us were uncomfortable with it. Then the same question was asked about lesbians and one of the guys moved to the agree side because he liked them. (That guy really makes everyone mad. He doesn't want to be around gay guys because he thinks all they want to do is have sex with him, but he's okay with lesbians because he HOPES they will have sex with him. Creep. He's so messed up, you can't be okay with lesbians but not okay with gays, its one way or the other.)

I was reminded of the saying "Stand up for what is right, even if you're standing alone." Turns out I wasn't alone, but we were a big minority. Even though it was hard, its what we have to do, and I'm glad I did.

Now I'm not a homophobe, I won't ignore you or be majorly uncomfortable with you if you are gay/lesbian. I just think you're wrong and don't agree with your choice. I've had friends who are gay, I have friends who act gay, am I still their friend yes. But I don't agree with what they do. Its gross.

Another hard topic that raises a whole bunch of thoughts and emotions from a lot of people, but there you go.

The Hunger Games-Thoughts

So Saturday I took my little sister to see The Hunger Games, it was GREAT!

First though, the movie was almost ruined for me by the fact they played a Twilight preview, burned my eyes! I was trying to make it through without seeing one. I was so mad! Anyway. Moving on. (I don't want to go into details in case someone reading this hasn't seen it or read the books.)

I was pleased with how faithful the movie was to the book. I can't remember the last time I saw a movie that was so true to the book! But I was wondering how they could keep the horror of the Games without being to graphic. By jumping the camera views, switching the camera right before the act is committed so you know what happened but don't see it. The only ones you actually see clearly is a boy shot with an arrow and the death of Rue, a spear through the stomach which she pulls out, but its nothing to gross. For watching the girl die, it is surprisingly calm.

I know a lot of people are thinking that this movie is evil, sick and twisted. At first glance it does seem like that. A live broadcast of 24 teens fighting to the death for entertainment? It's gruesome! We fail to make the connection between this and our own reality TV. Think of the shows we watch for entertainment. Survivor, Fear Factor, The Bachelor, Big Brother, Toddlers and Tiaras, 16 and Pregnant. What do we do for our few minutes of fame? What do we watch to get entertainment. People try to find love, compete for money, turn on each other to keep in the show. We watch teens going through pregnancy and raising kids as girls younger and younger are exposed to a beauty stress no one should ever have to experience. What does this say about us?

The Hunger Games is not about a bunch of teens going in to fight to the death. It's about a people who are in repression, forced to endure these "games" as a reminder to never again rebel against their leaders. The 24 Tributes are a reminder of that rebellion, the one winner is a symbol of mercy, which also gives hope.

President Snow reminds us of this halfway through the movie. A little hope is a good thing. It keeps the people in line, keeps them from giving up on life. But to much hope is a dangerous thing. Katniss comes to symbolize this hope in the people. Her memorial to Rue, her determination to last, what she and Peeta accomplish and how they do it spark the flame deep in the hearts of the oppressed Districts.

If you read the books and stop after the first one, then on the surface, it does seem like that's the extent. 24 teens forced to kill each other. That's why you keep reading.

I'm sure adult books have been written that seem like this. What turns many people off is the fact it's a young adult/teen book series that focus' on the teens. Children forced to turn on each other sickens us. That's the point.

We sympathize with these characters. Parents wonder how could they survive the agony of 7 years per child of praying their child would make it another year. Teens wonder if they would really be willing to kill to survive. How can people be so afraid that they would endure this?

I cried all the way through the books. I cried when Katniss volunteered to take her sisters place; when she said her goodbyes' several moments with Peeta; when Rue was killed; the ending when Katniss realizes the end is only the beginning. In the movie I cried again at those parts along with the scene when Katniss is almost ready to enter the arena, a few of the deaths, the final moment of the game as Peeta touches Katniss' hair ever so gently as he prepares to die.

We in America especially don't understand what it means to truly suffer. We complain when prices go up, a storm cuts out our electricity, a restaurant is out of our favorite food. Most families have more than 1 car. We have TV, radio's, good for weeks, constant electricity, phones, music players, more stuff than we really need, hot water, air conditioners, the list goes on. How about 3rd world countries, where running water is a river. They don't use electricity during the day so they *might* have some that night. The doctor is a day or two journey away. They have just a few changes of clothes, walk everywhere and are (some of them) oppressed by the law.

Our freedoms here are amazing! The Hunger Games, if read with an open mind, show us what we could be. With our world as screwed up as it is, whats to stop us from going that far?

Would I let my 10yr old son go watch this movie? No. My 13yr old? If they first read the books and understood it. That is up to you as a parent. If you don't get any of what I did out of it would it still be good? Absolutely. These are just my thoughts on the subject.

To wrap this up ( I hadn't set out to write a defense and explanation I swear! ) The movie was great. The acting was realistic, things were explained fairly well, the Capital was astounding, and the movie flowed. This is so much longer than I planned. Just go watch the movie and read the books. You'll be glad you did!

Back To Normal

First off, I want to apologize again for not writing much last week! Spring Break is Spring Break, and then I went to visit a friend for the weekend and just got back yesterday. But here we go, back into schedules and almost done with school!!! Anyone else excited about this?? I know I am!

Its storming over here which I love because its perfect stay home and be lazy weather! And since I don't have any homework due tomorrow ( a pleasant surprise ) I can afford to read and write all day with the exception of work.

3 days until the Hunger Games come out! Anyone excited? I know I am. I'm going to take my little sister to see it this weekend most likely. I'm looking forward to it! Spring is finally here so I think I can put away all my winter stuff. The trees are budding, flowers blooming, and no more drought! I love looking out my window to see this sea of green everywhere.

Well, I do have things to do today, so this is all you get. Pip-pip cherrio!

Lucky...Yeah its not You.

Okay so Spring Break isn't really turning out the way I figured it would. Lots more to do than I originally expected and things that I thought were figured out are going completely in the other direction and the stress has been just barely bearable. Both yesterday and today, things have popped up that I didn't completely expect.

Just some thoughts...why is it that some people seem to have all the luck? They always get things worked out their way, its never that big a deal. Yeah sure they go on about how hard something was but really it wasn't that bad. They barely had to do anything to make it work out in their favor. Then there's you. Who has to fight tooth and nail to make things work, and then by the time you get it all figured out you can't really enjoy it because of all the stress that it caused. It's almost worth throwing it away because you can't enjoy it and its just easier if you throw it out and never bother with it again. But if you do go through with it...there is no joy in it. Now you're doing it basically because it is a shame to throw all that hard work down the drain. But even then, you know that the lucky person will still be going off about how hard things have been, and just because they have all the luck, you know that they will get more attention than you. More people will feel sorry for them than you just because they make such a big deal about it, and you have learned to suffer in silence.

Not the most uplifting story ever, but its thoughts that I can't get out of my head.

Laters!