Halloween and Endings

Happy Halloween everyone! Today is probably the only day of the year that you can give kids candy and they won't try to run away from you. It's also a day where you can dress up however you want and people kinda don't care. Although I've seen some pretty weird people around campus today, but it's Halloween.

Today marks the last official day of school for us this trimester and tomorrow starts our finals 'week'. But I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't have at least one final before it officially starts. All the music people have to stay over the weekend because we have piano juries on Monday. Basically we have 8 minutes to play for all the people on the music board and then we're free until the following Monday. No one is really a fan of it because we have all weekend with nothing to do but practice and most everyone else is going home for our Trimester Break.

So my first trimester is all but over. I've have changes both physically and mentally. Physically I've lost 10 pounds in the last 2 1/2 months. I love walking everywhere and I still have to walk up to the 3rd floor of my dorm every time I want to go to my room so I get more physical exercise than I did at home just because of if I want to do anything, I don't get in my car and drive. I'm not complaining to much though, just when I'm tired and I don't want to walk up the stairs!

Mentally and emotionally, that's been a battle. Things happened here with friendships and situations that I didn't expect, I didn't know how to handle and honestly have been really hard for me. I'm 6+ hours from home, I'm out of my comfort zone just a little bit and half of my support system was wrenched away from me. It hasn't been fun and there have been days that I got really down and felt completely alone and abandoned. That's when God started showing me just how much He's been there. How He hears me and comforts me even when I'm alone.

The song that always was coming to my head was Britt Nicole's "All This Time". "All this time from the first tear cried to today's sunrise and every single moment between, You were there You were always there. It was You and I, You've been walking with me all this time." He's been showing me day by day that He's here with me, He can help me, and He will if I just open my heart and cry out to Him.

I get to go home on Monday! I'll be getting a much needed break and seeing friends that even though I've always appreciated them and I've always loved them, I never really realized just how awesome they are until I left them. That's the thing about friends I guess. You never really know who your true friends are until you don't have them anymore and the friends you thought would never hurt you or leave you do so. Life's just a gamble that way.

As in the words of Rafiki, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it. Considering I can't really run from it right now, I'm just going to have to learn from it! Keep my head up, keep smiling, step outside my comfort zone more, branch out and show just how strong I am. With God, all things are possible. With Him, I can do anything, including letting go of people I love.

Off to study for tests! Have a Happy Halloween and stay away from caramel!

Expect Great Things; Attempt Great Things.

I can't believe its October already! I blinked and September is gone. Next monthI can start listening o Christmas music!

So I've been here for about 7 weeks now, and I'm still loving it as much as when I first started. Carey really has become home. It's weird to admit that, but its true. I'm really enjoying the weather getting cooler, I get to wear my jackets, scarves and gloves. That and I can sit outside and not burn up.

Last week was Carey Fest, a mini fall fest for the students, workers and their families here on campus. They had food, face painting, pumpkin smashing and 3 different inflatable bounce things. Thats something I missed at Kilgore, student activities. I didn't feel apart of the school body in any way but attending classes. Here when stuff goes on, I know about it, I attend i, I have fun and hang out with different people. I didn't get that at Kilgore.

This morning the BSU hosted a Prayer Walk. We met at 6:30am, then proceeded to walk to every building in campus and pray for all the people that would go in and out of them. It was cold, our noses and ears froze, we were sleep deprived, but it was totally worth it. I love being able to fellowship and do things like this with other believers in an environment that encourages us. There are so many places in the world where they can't worship freely the way we can here. But sadly, we lose sight of that and take it for granted way to often. I tried to get a few people to come join us and they said they would, if they didn't have that 8am class they would come. I'd come to prayer breakfast on Fridays, but its my only day to sleep in. I just didn't feel like coming.

Its sad how often we say stuff like that. We have such a freedom here, and we really don't do anything with it. We don't go to church if the cars broken and its a 5 mile drive. There are people who hike 5 hours so they can go to church. I'd hate to think of what America would be like if we had to do that...I think most of our churches would become nonexistent.

We're praying for a revival for our nation and for one specifically here at Carey. I can see it in certain people here. Its wonderful when you can see God shining through people, and I see that here. I hope people can see it when they look at me. We have the potential for great things.

"Expect great things; attempt great things".

How fitting that William Carey himself said that. If we want great things from God, if we are expecting them, we have to be willing to step out and do great things for Him.

If we do that, if we step out of our comfort zone, make small sacrifices here and there, turn our lives completely over to Him, can you imagine the amazing things He could accomplish through us?

Mindlessly Listening

How many songs do we listen to and love on the radio but we have to admit its a bad song because of the topic or the message of the song. And sometimes you don't think about it until you know the song backwards and forwards. How often to you hear a song and just mindlessly sing along? I had a few songs that I absolutely loved, then I really listened to the lyrics and decided to never listen or sing it again because of the message in the song. I surprised myself by what I had been mindlessly singing for months!

Now lets leave songs alone and switch to mindlessly listening just in life.

We go to church every Sunday and sit in the pew for an hour or so and then hurry home to eat dinner before it overcooks. When you go back to church that night, can you remember what was preached on that morning? Most often you can't. We just mindlessly listen to the Word of God, not putting anything into it.

Do you mindlessly listen to your friends? Do you just sit there and nod your head as they ramble or do you actually listen to them? I think we're all more guilty of mindlessly listening then we would like to admit.

Here is a challenge for the week. Listen. Whether you're listening to your boss at work, your teacher at school, your Pastor in church, your friend at Starbucks or even your kids. Actually listen to what they are saying, actually pay attention to them. Once you get down listening to the people that you can actually see and be with physically, try this with God. Its harder with Him because we can't really hear His audible voice, but He still speaks to us.

Lets try to really listen, not just zoning out. You might be surprised at the things you learn about people.

One Month Update

So I've been here a month! In some ways it doesn't seem like I've been here that long and others I feel like I've been here forever. Right now I'm procrastinating some homework while waiting for the season premier of Castle. Next Monday we don't have classes because the school is hosting something so we all have cut classes. It would be nice to take full advantage of it but I'm going to be out until late Saturday evening because I'm going to be on a field trip with some other students for our major.

SO! Here's a general update.

Contrary to popular belief, having one of my best friends as my roommate has not caused the campus to explode and we're getting along just fine. Community bathrooms aren't to bad, its just like being at camp though everyone takes showers at different times so we don't have to wait for the other girls to get mud off. We go to bed at the same time and I normally wake up around the time she goes if she's up first and she just sleeps through me getting ready when I get up first.

My classes are going fairly well, I'm in the school Opera now instead of voice class for chorus in the last scene. I'm going to miss voice but being back in a theatre setting is something to look forward too.

As far as social life goes I guess its pretty good. I have some friends in different classes and my dorm. I'm not a hermit who sits up in my room all that time like I was slightly scared I'd do. I spend a lot of time with my roommate, but not all the time. I'm getting more and more out of my comfort zone which is great for me. New experiences, new friends, new things, just new everything and I'm loving it.

I still have some problems that I'm working through, I still have bad days and there are days when I really don't want to do anything. But overall its amazing here and I'm so glad that I'm here! I"m going to go now because I'm watching Castle finale before the premier on another computer with some friends and I have a feeling we'll get sucked into that.

Laters everyone, until next time.

I Feel Infinite

Today 20 of us from school went to the beach. It was one of those “hey lets go to the beach this weekend, just spread the word and whoever shows up shows up!” things. It was really fun though. Easy drive and it wasn’t too crowded and the water was great.

This was the first time I can say I’ve been an actual trip to the beach. Every other time we were in the area and my family decided to just stop by, so it doesn’t really count. It was really fun with all of us. After passing around the sunscreen (we all are slightly burned anyway) we headed into the water. We went really far out and I’m about 5’5 and never lost my footing. We played out for who knows how long, flipping people, having chicken fights, girls (and a few guys) squealing about different things touching their feet in the water, and just talking about different stuff. We felt crabs, fish, saw a jellyfish and one kid got stung as well as your normal seagulls and pelicans.

As the day went on we split into groups of 3-8 people at a time and did different stuff. Frisbee was almost always going on, a few kids would go out real far (but never to deep, the water only hit our knees for a really long way) some would stay on the sand talking or reading or building sandcastles and some would just be crazy. Some of the boys kicked around a soccer ball seeing how long they could keep it in the air. I really enjoyed playing Frisbee in the ocean, it was nice to be able to jump and dive for the thing and not worry about hutting ground and putting myself in a lot of pain. 2 of the guys took the soccer ball into the water and started playing with it. I got roped in as the ball fetcher and throwing it around for the boys to do tricks too. A third joined in and then I got involved a bit, they convinced me to try and head butt the ball. I am proud to say that I did it! It wasn’t good, it wasn’t pretty, my head hurt for a while after it happened, but I had fun and did it!

One thing that does annoy me is how often guys think girls can’t do stuff and only throw to each other etc. At one point it was 3 guys with a Frisbee and myself and I stood there for about 5 minutes before one of them stopped the trick throws and threw it to me. Before we left we decided to have a small football game to burn off whatever energy we had left and try to get dry before leaving. I wanted to play, but I figured it would be guys only and no one would ask, but as I was drying off I again got asked to play. It was fun! I managed to block one pass and I scored the last touchdown and we won (We played best 2 out of 3 touchdowns, everyone was to tired to keep going).

I love playing sports and table games such as ping-pong and pool. I never really had access to anything like this on a regular basis and I always wished I had. I like playing Frisbee and playing around with soccer etc, but since I really don’t know what I’m doing I don’t like just jumping in. Today was super fun because I could play the sports stuff with the guys and didn’t feel like I was expected to lie out tanning, just wade around or sit there and look pretty. Honestly I’ve always preferred actually doing stuff.

Today was incredible; it was like some freedom for the first time. I’ve never really had any experiences like this before, not only am I learning stuff in school, but I’m learning to step outside my comfort zone and do stuff.

A week or so ago I read the book “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”. At one point the main character, Charlie, is riding home with two of his friends and a song comes on the radio. They all listen, really listen, to the song and the main character turns to his friends and says something. Today it wasn’t quite the same, but the point is still there.

We left the beach to drive back home and as we pulled out of the parking lot for once we found a good song on the radio, Owl City’s “Good Time”. We rolled down the windows and turned it up, the five of us singing along with the voices. I stuck my hand out the window as we headed back towards school and I found myself thinking exactly what Charlie had said, “I feel infinite”.

I know its crazy and stupid, but in that moment I felt like we could go on forever. I knew the feeling of being above everything, that nothing could harm us. In that moment, after a fun day of goofing off without a care in the world, being with some people that I’ve really grown to care about, spending hours on the beach and in the ocean, the feeling was almost indescribable. I felt infinite.

We all grow old someday, youth will pass and won’t last forever, but its days like today that will stay with us forever, that really are infinite.  

The Joy of Being a Music Major

I think the best thing about being a music major is that I have access to the music building whenever I want. Whether its 9am, 2:45pm, 9:28pm or Midnight. My school ID is programed to get me into the building whenever I want. Some of us used it last week to hook up a computer to a projector and watch Batman! I can get in and practice the piano whenever I would like, its turning out to be fairly handy!

That and I get to use the little door on the side of the building and don't have to walk all the way to the middle front to get in. That's just me being lazy, but it was annoying passing that door and not being able to get in! Like I would have to walk from my dorm, around the building, pass the smaller door, go in the front then walk back in the direction I had come to go up a flight of stairs into my classroom. It was just annoying really and I hated doing it. But its all fixed now and I can be slightly lazy again! I don't worry to much about it because I have to go up and down 3 flights of stairs multiple times a day. SO, I think I'm allowed to be a little bit lazy on this. But the nice thing is if I ever get bitten by the work out bug late at night all I have to do is go walk up and down the stairs several times and I'll be good!

Laters!

Power of Love Between Friends

Power of Love Between Friends.

That was the title of my Bible devotion today. It was about David and Jonathan, an example at how we should love our friends. In todays world, I can see how (sadly) this would be taken as something completely opposite as what it really was between the two of them. They were best friends and nothing ever stood in the way of that friendship. Not even Saul who tried to kill David. Jonathan saved David's life and David would not kill Saul because he knew that Saul was the appointed king and also that he would hurt Jonathan if he killed his father. 

That should be the extend of our love between friends. So often we let petty arguments destroy something wonderful and lasting. Friends look past outward appearances and see what's on the inside of us. Even though you may fight and argue, you still love each other. One minute you could be yelling at each other, both are in tears, and then 20 minutes later you're talking/hugging it out then go sneak candy into the theatre at a kids movie. That's possible because of the love that you have for each other. Its not romantic, its a tie thats stronger than fleeting feelings. 

I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother, you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women. -2 Samuel 1:26

That isn't meant to be taken in a homosexual way, any more than 2 girls sharing a chair might be or 2 guys hugging. Too often friendships are treated as something they aren't. Two girls can't be super close best friends because people might start whispering about them. Two guys can't be super close because people might wonder what exactly is going on. A guy and a girl are best friends? Oh, they must be dating! To often things are twisted into what they aren't. 

But real friendship doesn't matter. You put aside the whispers, the rumors. You take your stand that what you're doing isn't wrong and then you go on, let people think what they want. A friendship is to important to throw away. 

Today I'm going to encourage you to call up your best friends and tell them how much you love them. Don't ever take them for granted. I've had fights with some of my best friends, things always work out in the end. I've also done the hard thing...I've lost a best friend. Now that they are gone, I can't even begin to describe how much I miss that person. I knew that if they left I'd miss out on some things, but I never thought the pain of losing that person would hurt as much as it does. 

So call up your friends, tell them how much they mean to you. Maybe you're currently fighting with a friend, call and apologize and ask them out to lunch or something. If you're truly best friends, then your love for each other will win in the end. 

"Poor are those who must define all love in terms of romance alone. Rich indeed are those who can say, 'I have a friend-we love each other.' In these friends' confident love every sunrise is welcomed, every crisis is easier, every pain has counsel, and every midnight is safe."

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. - Proverbs 17:17