I Feel Infinite

Today 20 of us from school went to the beach. It was one of those “hey lets go to the beach this weekend, just spread the word and whoever shows up shows up!” things. It was really fun though. Easy drive and it wasn’t too crowded and the water was great.

This was the first time I can say I’ve been an actual trip to the beach. Every other time we were in the area and my family decided to just stop by, so it doesn’t really count. It was really fun with all of us. After passing around the sunscreen (we all are slightly burned anyway) we headed into the water. We went really far out and I’m about 5’5 and never lost my footing. We played out for who knows how long, flipping people, having chicken fights, girls (and a few guys) squealing about different things touching their feet in the water, and just talking about different stuff. We felt crabs, fish, saw a jellyfish and one kid got stung as well as your normal seagulls and pelicans.

As the day went on we split into groups of 3-8 people at a time and did different stuff. Frisbee was almost always going on, a few kids would go out real far (but never to deep, the water only hit our knees for a really long way) some would stay on the sand talking or reading or building sandcastles and some would just be crazy. Some of the boys kicked around a soccer ball seeing how long they could keep it in the air. I really enjoyed playing Frisbee in the ocean, it was nice to be able to jump and dive for the thing and not worry about hutting ground and putting myself in a lot of pain. 2 of the guys took the soccer ball into the water and started playing with it. I got roped in as the ball fetcher and throwing it around for the boys to do tricks too. A third joined in and then I got involved a bit, they convinced me to try and head butt the ball. I am proud to say that I did it! It wasn’t good, it wasn’t pretty, my head hurt for a while after it happened, but I had fun and did it!

One thing that does annoy me is how often guys think girls can’t do stuff and only throw to each other etc. At one point it was 3 guys with a Frisbee and myself and I stood there for about 5 minutes before one of them stopped the trick throws and threw it to me. Before we left we decided to have a small football game to burn off whatever energy we had left and try to get dry before leaving. I wanted to play, but I figured it would be guys only and no one would ask, but as I was drying off I again got asked to play. It was fun! I managed to block one pass and I scored the last touchdown and we won (We played best 2 out of 3 touchdowns, everyone was to tired to keep going).

I love playing sports and table games such as ping-pong and pool. I never really had access to anything like this on a regular basis and I always wished I had. I like playing Frisbee and playing around with soccer etc, but since I really don’t know what I’m doing I don’t like just jumping in. Today was super fun because I could play the sports stuff with the guys and didn’t feel like I was expected to lie out tanning, just wade around or sit there and look pretty. Honestly I’ve always preferred actually doing stuff.

Today was incredible; it was like some freedom for the first time. I’ve never really had any experiences like this before, not only am I learning stuff in school, but I’m learning to step outside my comfort zone and do stuff.

A week or so ago I read the book “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”. At one point the main character, Charlie, is riding home with two of his friends and a song comes on the radio. They all listen, really listen, to the song and the main character turns to his friends and says something. Today it wasn’t quite the same, but the point is still there.

We left the beach to drive back home and as we pulled out of the parking lot for once we found a good song on the radio, Owl City’s “Good Time”. We rolled down the windows and turned it up, the five of us singing along with the voices. I stuck my hand out the window as we headed back towards school and I found myself thinking exactly what Charlie had said, “I feel infinite”.

I know its crazy and stupid, but in that moment I felt like we could go on forever. I knew the feeling of being above everything, that nothing could harm us. In that moment, after a fun day of goofing off without a care in the world, being with some people that I’ve really grown to care about, spending hours on the beach and in the ocean, the feeling was almost indescribable. I felt infinite.

We all grow old someday, youth will pass and won’t last forever, but its days like today that will stay with us forever, that really are infinite.